It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm not best in singing.
I'm not best in piano.
I'm not best in studies.
I'm not best in dancing.
I know people say that you have to persevere in order to get what you want.
But sometimes, you might really get tired of everything and just wanna take a break.
Sighs. I don't know what's up.
I don't fucking care about netball please.
It just ruins my day.
I care about singing and piano and dancing.
Music.

Maybe my dream is too unrealstic.
Maybe I should just quit it.
Maybe I should just forget about being a singer/musician and focus on being an architect.
At least being an architect is a practical dream.
Unlike being a singer/musician.

Sometimes I really lose faith in myself.
And I am right now.
I don't know why but I just do.

And my friends. Only a few are being supportive.
I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM.
They treat me as a joke? Take me for granted?
Just because I'm not prettier than them, not slimmer than them, not better than them.
They just fucking look down on me huh? Huh?!
They make fun of me, mock me and treat me as if I'm invisible.
If you guys seriously take me for granted, then what's the point?
Tell me what's the bloody point?!
They don't even think I'm important.
They take me for granted.
Always has, always will.
And seriously, only some are being supportive.
Maybe 1 or 2.

I don't know who to trust and what to do.
I really just wanna forget about everything.
But it's just so fucking hard.